STUDENT07, on a scale of one to six, your response to this assignment was rated a 3 for focus. Focus relates to your ability to present a consistent, unified message and stay on topic. Your focus is limited. Typically, a response at this level has a reasonably clear purpose evident, though the presentation may stray from the controlling point. The response may lack focus and cohesion.
STUDENT07, let's work on making your focus much clearer.
Revision Goal 1: State the central/controlling idea of your essay.
1. In your introduction, you should include one sentence that tells your reader what your essay will be about. This is called your thesis statement. Highlight it in yellow.
2. If you did not write one sentence to explain what your essay will be about, ask yourself, "What do I want my reader to learn from my essay?" Now, write the answer in one sentence at the beginning of your essay.
Example:
Before Revision: The Redwood National Forest in California has many hiking and biking trails.
Frank's Strategy: I wrote details about California, but I did not write a sentence that explains what my essay will be about.
After Revision:The Redwood National Forest in California is a spectacular place to visit.
Frank's Reflection: I wrote one sentence that clearly states what my essay will be about.
Revision Goal 2: Understand and write for your audience.
1.Read the prompt and find the audience. Are you writing for friends and students, for parents or other adults, or for newspaper readers?
2.Make sure the words you wrote in your essay are appropriate for your audience. For example,
if you are writing to adults, you should NOT use slang or contractions.
Example:
Before Revision: I wanna go hiking in the Redwood National Forest. And after that I dunno. Maybe I will chill on a park bench.
Frank's Strategy: I used slang words, "wanna," "dunno," and "chill." I need to replace these with more formal language because I am writing to adults.
After Revision: I want to go hiking in the Redwood National Forest. After hiking, I may relax on a park bench.
Frank's Reflection: I replaced slang words with more formal words, "want to" and "relax."
Activities and Resources
2007年5月28日 星期一
Effection of technology
Technology in our live is very important . It have very big effect for us. Like many kind of vehicles, the power of eletric, or the technology in hospital and so on. It gives us a lot of conveniences. If we have no technology ,we might lost many things now we have.
Although our live become more convenient, the environment become awful. Because technology let us contrive many thing to ameliorate our live. Many thing become more easy to do. But deucedly advance the technology will let the environment become bad than now. But deucedly advance the technology will let the environment become bad now and then. We find more excogitation in the world and lost more conventions.
Nowadays, technology improves the living standard of our life, but also produces various pollution to our environment. The improvement in living standard that technology brings to our society makes our life more convenient, but, meanwhile, produces a variety of pollution to damege our only earth, as well.
Technology has many benefits what we know. The invention of cars makes us become short from here to there. And it expands our living space. We can use cell phones to keep in touch with anyone else whereever we are. Computer is not only a tool but also the entertainment in our lives.
But we must remember that the life is become more conveniences, the environment become awful. We should uderstand what we have to do. That is economizing on energy.
Although our live become more convenient, the environment become awful. Because technology let us contrive many thing to ameliorate our live. Many thing become more easy to do. But deucedly advance the technology will let the environment become bad than now. But deucedly advance the technology will let the environment become bad now and then. We find more excogitation in the world and lost more conventions.
Nowadays, technology improves the living standard of our life, but also produces various pollution to our environment. The improvement in living standard that technology brings to our society makes our life more convenient, but, meanwhile, produces a variety of pollution to damege our only earth, as well.
Technology has many benefits what we know. The invention of cars makes us become short from here to there. And it expands our living space. We can use cell phones to keep in touch with anyone else whereever we are. Computer is not only a tool but also the entertainment in our lives.
But we must remember that the life is become more conveniences, the environment become awful. We should uderstand what we have to do. That is economizing on energy.
2007年5月23日 星期三
Five Questions
1. Have you ever experienced a natural disaster? What happened?
Describe your experience.
Yes. A typhoon named Herbert. It made many crops die. And it brought a lot of rain. That’s cause a heavy floods.
2. Which natural disaster do you think causes the most harm? Why?
The earthquake which was on date 921. It really broke many families. It also took many lives out.
3. Which one of these facts about trees is the most interesting to you? Why?
Trees are the longest living things on earth . Because tree’s life could led us know the environment is good or bad.
4. Have you ever seen any fascinating or famous trees? If so, describe them.
Yes, I have seen the giant tree on Mt.Ali. It is 185 feet tall and has a diameter of 60 feet. It’s 3000 years old.
5. Besides these advantages are important tons; do you describe more benefits from tewific trees?
Trees' root may grasp the soil upstream, and prevents the soil reposition to the river in rainy day. Otherwise not only creates to fills, when reduces the river course accommodates the water volume, the rainstorm a easier water immersion.
Describe your experience.
Yes. A typhoon named Herbert. It made many crops die. And it brought a lot of rain. That’s cause a heavy floods.
2. Which natural disaster do you think causes the most harm? Why?
The earthquake which was on date 921. It really broke many families. It also took many lives out.
3. Which one of these facts about trees is the most interesting to you? Why?
Trees are the longest living things on earth . Because tree’s life could led us know the environment is good or bad.
4. Have you ever seen any fascinating or famous trees? If so, describe them.
Yes, I have seen the giant tree on Mt.Ali. It is 185 feet tall and has a diameter of 60 feet. It’s 3000 years old.
5. Besides these advantages are important tons; do you describe more benefits from tewific trees?
Trees' root may grasp the soil upstream, and prevents the soil reposition to the river in rainy day. Otherwise not only creates to fills, when reduces the river course accommodates the water volume, the rainstorm a easier water immersion.
2007年5月21日 星期一
2007年5月14日 星期一
ALCPT 15 &16 (98010 朱柏企 98017 蔡仲桓)
15R
13. Did the student cross out the incorrect answer?
A
cross out = cacel = delete = score out = score through = scratch
14. Why did Virginia go to the dentist?
d
dentist = dental surgeon = dentistry = doctor = orthodontist
15. Did Robert motion to you?
c
motion = action = attitudinize = beau geste = gesture
16. Which date would be best for you?
a
date = frivol
17. Is your dog healthy?
d
healthy, health health and safety
18. Why do people look forward to holidays?
b
enjoy
16R
13. What is a pharmacist?
c
druggist
chemist
14. The instructor talked to Nancy about her conduct. What did the instructor talk about?
c
behavior
action
manner
15. The boss arrived at exactly three o’clock. When did he arrive?
c
literally
yes
16. Often while visiting another country, a person is not sure how to act when eating. What is meant by the expression “how to act” in this sentence?
c
behavior
action
manner
17. Did you find out what caused his illness?
b
find out
learn
determine
ask
ascertain
18. Mr. Maxwell said: “This wind feels just like a knife.” What kind of wind was it?
b
knife
blade
sword
13. Did the student cross out the incorrect answer?
A
cross out = cacel = delete = score out = score through = scratch
14. Why did Virginia go to the dentist?
d
dentist = dental surgeon = dentistry = doctor = orthodontist
15. Did Robert motion to you?
c
motion = action = attitudinize = beau geste = gesture
16. Which date would be best for you?
a
date = frivol
17. Is your dog healthy?
d
healthy, health health and safety
18. Why do people look forward to holidays?
b
enjoy
16R
13. What is a pharmacist?
c
druggist
chemist
14. The instructor talked to Nancy about her conduct. What did the instructor talk about?
c
behavior
action
manner
15. The boss arrived at exactly three o’clock. When did he arrive?
c
literally
yes
16. Often while visiting another country, a person is not sure how to act when eating. What is meant by the expression “how to act” in this sentence?
c
behavior
action
manner
17. Did you find out what caused his illness?
b
find out
learn
determine
ask
ascertain
18. Mr. Maxwell said: “This wind feels just like a knife.” What kind of wind was it?
b
knife
blade
sword
2007年4月17日 星期二
The Art of Life
Life is a serious subject for everyone. What have you ever done? What do you want to do now? What will you want to be? If you answer this questions clearly, then I could tell you, That’s your life.
How can we do the best in our lives? Maybe what we need to learn is “the art of life”. According to the poem “a psalm of life” which is written by Henry W. Longfellow. I thought there are some sentences in that poem that makes a good explain for life. “Life is real! Life is earnest! Life is but an empty dream! “ I agree with this statement. I thought life is just like a play. Everyone has his own character. And he must do his best. Be a student, a driver, a father, a teacher and go on. Many kind of roles are in our lives. And roles are also important to society. Don’t underestimate yourself. You should believe that you are unique in this world. Of course, also in our life.
This poem tells us not to waste our time but to be up and doing; not to be discouraged by sufferings or failures but to have a heart for any fate; not to judge life by temporary standards but to look eternal reward.
So, if I want to still achieve, still pursue my goal. I must learn to labor and to wait. I must know what advantages and weakness about my personality I have. I like to help people if I were able to do that. I thought this is my advantages. I’m not a good leader because I don’t want to stand outside. I’m tired to study all the class in the school. So, I thought this is my drawback.
I hope that one day I can be useful in this society.
How can we do the best in our lives? Maybe what we need to learn is “the art of life”. According to the poem “a psalm of life” which is written by Henry W. Longfellow. I thought there are some sentences in that poem that makes a good explain for life. “Life is real! Life is earnest! Life is but an empty dream! “ I agree with this statement. I thought life is just like a play. Everyone has his own character. And he must do his best. Be a student, a driver, a father, a teacher and go on. Many kind of roles are in our lives. And roles are also important to society. Don’t underestimate yourself. You should believe that you are unique in this world. Of course, also in our life.
This poem tells us not to waste our time but to be up and doing; not to be discouraged by sufferings or failures but to have a heart for any fate; not to judge life by temporary standards but to look eternal reward.
So, if I want to still achieve, still pursue my goal. I must learn to labor and to wait. I must know what advantages and weakness about my personality I have. I like to help people if I were able to do that. I thought this is my advantages. I’m not a good leader because I don’t want to stand outside. I’m tired to study all the class in the school. So, I thought this is my drawback.
I hope that one day I can be useful in this society.
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